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Whom Should We Choose as a Spouse?

People of wisdom state:
One day a young man came to a scholar and said, “Sir, I want to marry solely for the purpose of winning Allah’s pleasure.” The scholar prayed, “May Allahu ta’ala grant you a woman suiting your wish.” Allahu ta’ala accepted the sincere intention of the young man and the prayer of the blessed scholar because whoever sets his mind on winning the pleasure of Allah will reach his goal. Afterwards, Allahu ta’ala blessed the young man with a very pious bride. Piety is a great blessing for both sides. Is it not a blessing to have a wife who says Basmala before starting any activity, is constant in five daily salats, covers herself as Islam ordered women, and fears Allah? A husband who protects himself and his wife from haram things is a great blessing for his wife, too. In this case, the father of the woman is pleased and happy too because he is not the object of the threat mentioned in the hadith-i sharif, “Accursed is he who marries her daughter to a sinner.”

If a mother and father ask a suitor about his job and money first rather than his religious commitment, the world of their daughter will fall apart, and she will be in ruins. Her parents will not benefit from her until their death, for the destination of the vehicle has changed, so to speak. The destination was Paradise in the beginning, but now it has changed to the world. Asking the suitor about his job and worldly possessions first is something stemming from the nafs, and a nafs-related action cannot be blessed. Allahu ta’ala says in a hadith-i qudsi: “Be an enemy to your nafsas because your nafsas are an enemy of Me.” That is, whoever obeys his nafs and runs after the desires of it will be an enemy of Allah.

Many marriages-to-be break down before they are set up because of the worldly demands of families. They disregard the religious commitment of suitors and prefer wealthy men for their daughters. However, they are divorced from their husbands after having been beaten by them with clubs. Let us come to our senses and not seek any superiority other than piety. Hadrat ‘Umar stated, “Being a Muslim is the highest peak. There is no dignity and honor above being a Muslim. Whoever seeks dignity and honor in anything other than in being a Muslim, Allah will certainly disgrace him.”

Once upon a time, a man said to a holy person, “Sir, give me a khirkah [a gown of spiritual authority] of yours, so that I will educate disciples in my city.” He answered, “If you put my khirkah on a donkey and place my conical taqiyah on it, will the donkey save itself from being a donkey?” He said, “No, it will not, sir.” Upon it he stated, “If you have become attached to my khirkah and cap, you will be in the same status even if I gave them to you. Instead of them, learn your religion correctly, and try to be a true Muslim.”

Date of Update
6 Ekim 2022 Perþembe
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