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The Foundation of the Building of Marriage

People of wisdom state:
Piety and practice of Islam should be the deciding factor in marriage. That is, preferring a pious man or a pious woman is a great blessing for both worldly and otherworldly felicity. If the building of marriage is not based on this foundation with this intention and sincerity, that building is doomed to rot away and collapse.

If a man marries a girl only for her beauty, he will be deprived of her beauty. Likewise, if he marries her only for her wealth, her wealth will plague him. However, if he marries her on account of her good moral qualities and religiosity, he will not only make his worldly life and otherworldly life prosperous but also be happy and fortunate. Both the worldly life and the otherworldly life of a man who gets married to a streetwalker may be ruined. For this reason, religiosity and nobility are looked for in a girl whom a man will espouse. Nobility means being the daughter of pious parents. Such a girl is noble, of good family. The qualities that should be looked for in a bridegroom are the same, too. He should have Ahl as-Sunnah creed, never miss prayers [salat], have good morals and sincerity. If a woman gets married to a man for his wealth, fame, or status, that is, if she marries him for his worldly goods, she will be in ruins. Accordingly, she must be extra careful about this issue.

The weaker the faith of people becomes, the more they seek what is worldly. However, worldly possessions and the things they seek, desire, and rely on belong to Allah. He alone is the Owner of all, the Creator, and the Giver. If those who run after worldly advantages could realize only this fact, they would be torn apart from embarrassment.

When trust in Allahu ta'ala is perfect, worldly possessions are not sought in the least. The things of this world do not bring happiness by themselves. According to those with a weak faith, worldly goods provide many benefits. For example, other people say that so and so is well educated, on a high income, and has riches. Okay, but these are things that are here today but gone tomorrow. They cannot take us to eternity. Just as faith cannot be measured by money, so even health cannot be measured by it. Suppose that one gets married in excellent physical condition but afterwards becomes blind and is left paralyzed. In this case, that money cannot even restore one's health. Those whose sole purpose is what is worldly worry themselves to death in this situation.

If the reason for the preferences of people is the world, that world will devastate them. But if the reason for them is the next world, they will be happy and fortunate during their lifetime because those with a strong faith are patient, brave, and are not affected greatly by events. Whether they have worldly possessions or not and whether they increase or decrease does not have any effect on them. Their helper in all their affairs is Allahu ta'ala. Others' negligence and being worn down in the face of events are due to the weakness of their faith.

Worldly things are ephemeral. Moreover, it is not certain what will befall whom a bit later. Hence, let us give our hearts to our Lord and seek His pleasure. In our choice [of a spouse], let there not be any criteria other than the adherence to the religion, faith, good moral qualities, and the next world because the criteria other than these are all temporary, uncertain, and evanescent; they are a trust, which are here today and gone tomorrow. As for faith and good morals, they are real and inexhaustible. A bride and a groom as well as a mother and a father who have this thought in their minds are the ones the soles of whose feet, rather than whose hands, should be kissed.

Date of Update
6 Ekim 2022 Perşembe
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